I have something creepy called Cortana on my work computers - never used, not installed by anyone and not wanted but seemingly immovable. I have a hideous little creep called Bixby on my telephone. I have told my phone to shut it down and been soundly ignored. 

I do not want these things "helping" me; I do not require their assistance and I am offended by both their refusal to leave my devices and the near certainty that they are tracking and recording things without my knowledge or permission. 

If I even think of ordering something for the garden or a bicycle for a child nearly every website I visit will pound adverts for these things down my optic nerve and into my cerebral cortex until I crumble and click.

I cannot fathom the choice (at least it is a choice) to add Siri or Alexa to one's home and to the pantheon of digital spies already grubbing around seeking to commercialise our private lives. There is a reason that Amazon and Google and others are providing these devices at far below cost and it is NOT a good reason. 

Now our doorbells are to be corralled into the effort to leave no corner of our lives un-examined. They are to extrude the intrusion into our homes into a Stalinist network reporting on ourselves and our neighbours directly to the agents of the state. I have nothing to hide - I do not get up to anything criminal or even remotely newsworthy. Having nothing to hide does not mean that your life must be laid bare either to the state or to commercial interests. 

Sign up to the "internet of things" if you wish - let your fridge order your food, let your TV film your living room, let your mobile track your every move and allow Google to hold your photos but expect that your extra glass of wine, regular take out food and seldom used gym membership will be reported to your health insurers and that your premiums will rise in consequence. 

I do not use Facebook or Instagram and have almost no idea what a Snapchat is but I will bet that somewhere there is an actuarial algorithm that knows with near certainty the date of my demise and that it will sell the data to nearby funeral homes when the time approaches. In the meantime there are plans afoot for how I will spend my hard earned money but, I promise you, it will not be on one of these bloody doorbells!