Having had fairly significant prior DPA experience and having spent a huge amount of time with law firms and individual lawyers discussing the ramifications of the GDPR it was (I grudgingly suppose) inevitable that I would have this hot potato dropped in my lap.  

I have now, after several weeks, had it up to my grinding back teeth with the subject and so, largely for my own amusement, but also to aid the put upon and overburdened I have provided my own glossary of my least favourite GDPR terms below: 

DPO – Depressed Pedantic Outcast. What you will be within 5 mins of gaining the DPO title.  

Audit – Less fun than it sounds. In fact less fun than anything you have ever done that was no fun at all.  

Checklist – Erm... check! 

Privacy Notice – Is public and, frankly, far too long for any sensible person to read. 

Contract terms – Everyone with an old one gets a new one. 

DPIA – Consider me impacted: bowels, wisdom teeth and everything in between.  

External Policy – How we behave... 

Internal Policy – You'd better bloody well behave! 

Staff training -  Now you have no excuses – the sword of Damocles dangles above you too.  

Systems security / analysis – Props to the propeller heads. 

Data paths – Long walk – Short Pier - Jump! 

Data Storage – Points to a passing cloud / crosses fingers.  

EEA – So we are in now but going out unless we stay in: Hokey Cokey! 

SAR Protocols – #Anything you want – you got it baaaaaybee – you got it# © Roy Orbison. Within one month of request and at no charge provided that your request is not contrary to a statutory obligation affecting us, the data or perhaps even you.  

Be safe, have fun and always get consent...unless you don't need it.  

Mark Husband, Director and now DPO 

Jepson Holt